Go to fivelovelanguages.com to see other books by Chapman including 5LL for kids, teens, and families.

A twitter friend posed a question, actually two questions. He said: 1) When’s the last time u suggested to a guy that u wanna stay in for a date…that u want to cook or u want him to cook? 2) Women always say money cant buy love yet u want a man to spend money to express their love….WHICH IS IT CAUSE WE’RE CONFUSED?!?!?! My response to him was that generally as women, “we want whatever the sacrifice is to you.  If a man has more money than time, his time may be valued more.  Furthermore, most women are taught from youth that a man who loves you will take care of you.  And honestly, I always want to be assured that if I can’t, “HE” can. The fact that he CAN spend money is a test run of the stability barometer that we as women always use.” I thought about a book that is commonly used in contemporary marriage counseling called “The Five Love Languages.”  It helps “people speak and understand emotional love when it is expressed through one of five languages. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language.”

"ACTS OF SERVICE"

"PHYSICAL TOUCH"

"QUALITY TIME"

"WORDS OF AFFIRMATION"

"RECEIVING GIFTS"

I’ll be the open book here. I grew up in a very traditional home. My father was a pastor & my mother was a corporate executive. Contrary to popular belief, most pastors don’t earn a large salary from their churches.  Most of them have to take on secondary jobs or business ventures to make what most would consider a good living (books, music, real estate, etc.). My dad’s became real estate and stock & bond investments, but when they were in their late 20’s and early 30’s he had nothing, and she had the six figure salary (in the 80’s).  She has always said that though she made a lot of money, she really didn’t know how to manage it.  In the early 90’s she took an early retirement to help him in his business endeavors, and whether she made the money or not, taking care of the family was HIS RESPONSIBILITY. If she needed a new bag or wanted a new dress, HE bought it.  Taking care of HIM was HER RESPONSIBILITY.  If more money was needed for whatever, it was HIS RESPONSIBILITY. If we as kids needed to be fed, HE fed us.  She focused on making HIM happy, this worked for them, and all was well.  Their motto was that they tried their best to live by their true definition of love and they really trusted the other to do right.  She focused on meeting his need, he focused on meeting her needs, and all needs were met, unless someone messed up the matrix and opted for temporary selfishness.

Go to http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ to see other books by Chapman including 5LL for kids, teens, and families.   Thanks @FrankLanzkie for sparking the conversation. My friend @MissJenee recently did a blog post entitled “What is love?” on www. MissJenee.com… Get to clickin & get to following!

I Corinthians 13:4-8

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

If you had to choose only one, which is your most prevalent love language of the five and why?  Put them in order from the one to which you most quickly respond to the one you respond to the slowest.  My order is: quality time (if we’re already in a relationship), receiving gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service.  If we’re “getting to know each other,” then the 1st & 2nd ones are switched *tehehe*.